“Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy. (9) Six days shalt thou labour, and do all thy work: (10) But the seventh day is the sabbath of the LORD thy God: in it thou shalt not do any work, thou, nor thy son, nor thy daughter, thy manservant, nor thy maidservant, nor thy cattle, nor thy stranger that is within thy gates: (11) For in six days the LORD made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that in them is, and rested the seventh day: wherefore the LORD blessed the sabbath day, and hallowed it.” – Exodus 20:8-11
The age old question for Sabbath-keepers arises – what is appropriate for the Sabbath day and what is not? Many have tossed ideas around concerning various activities from swimming to getting wet to walking a number of steps, etc. One of the questions people wonder about is love-making between spouses upon the Sabbath day. That is, is marital (between a husband and wife) sex okay on Sabbath? Some would blurt out a quick yes. Some might hesitate. Others would give a certain, “no!” While there does not seem to be a Bible text that gives us an explicit answer dealing a verdict directly on the matter, there are however some biblical principles that we can briefly explore to give us more clarity to the issue.
Please consider the following biblical principles in formulating your understanding of the matter:
- Procreation – Sexual encounter with your spouse is in one sense a matter of reproducing life. In fact, we all got here through “sex.” God said to Adam and Eve, “Be fruitful and multiply” (Genesis 1:28). Did God “create” on the Sabbath, or rest from His creative work? He rested, of course! And He commanded that people should do the same. So, should we potentially be pro-creating upon the Sabbath day? Doesn’t seem to fit the activity of rest from creative labor or action.
- Sanctity of the Sabbath – God “hallowed” or made holy the Sabbath day. That is, He made it for a holy purpose. Now, some might debate whether or not sex is a “holy” thing between a husband and wife [though it is certainly within holy guidelines, when married], but if we get down to the biblical definitions of holiness and purity and commonness, then it will not take us very long to realize that Sabbath is holy while the act of sex is a “common” matter. In the following points, we’ll see this in scripture.
- Holy vs. Common – Exodus 19 – When God came down upon Mt. Sinai He asked Moses to “sanctify” (i.e. to set apart as holy) the people, so that they could withstand the glorious presence of God being near to them without them dying. As Moses went to “sanctify” the people he instructed them to “be ready” for God’s appearance upon the 3rd day and to “come not at your [their] wives” (Exodus 19:14-15). In other words, they were not to have sexual contact with their wives (lawfully wedded spouses) when preparing to meet the LORD and His holy presence. Their minds were to be upon high, lofty, holy themes. God clearly considered this activity a “common” matter and not a “holy” activity, although lawful sex between man and wife is part of a holy life, not taking away at all from holiness, even as eating food, though not a holy act, is still a valid part of a holy life.
- Eating the bread of life – In the days of David he came to the priest Abiathar with his men and they were all very hungry and had no food. They asked if there was bread to eat. The priest said that there was only holy bread there. He then asked “if the young men have kept themselves at least from women” (See 1 Samuel 21:4-6). This standard of whether they had laid or not with a woman recently was used to determine whether or not an exception could be made in allowing them to eat from the “holy bread.” The holy bread was only to be eaten by the priests who were holy and who had been consecrated/dedicated to God’s service. In how this matter came up, it shows us that the act of sex, or sleeping with a wife was not considered to be in harmony with eating the holy bread on the same day, by these. If defiled or made unclean by sex on that day, they could not eat. However, with space between the act of sex and the eating of the bread, by a matter of days, the eating could be allowed for their pressing need. In an interesting expansion on this, Jesus is said to be the “bread” which came down from Heaven (John 6). The Sabbath is about Jesus to whom when we come, we find rest (Matthew 11:28). Therefore, in meeting Jesus, the holy bread of life within the bounds of “his holy day” (the Lord’s day – Sabbath, Isaiah 58:13-14), we should be sure we are clean and of proper mind to focus on Him.
- Unclean if the seed spills out – According to Leviticus 15:16, “if a man’s seed of copulation” was to come out of him, he was considered “unclean” until the evening (i.e. til the end of the day), and was to bathe in water. It would then stand to reason from this as well that the activity of sex was considered “common,” instead of holy. It is considered part of the lower nature (body), rather than the higher (spiritual, mind – to which powers of the body are ever to be subjugated), although none can argue that mind and spirit are unaffected by sensations of the body. Should one be “unclean” upon the Sabbath day when planning to worship the holy God? It would seem that we ought to strive to be pure and “clean” to meet with our holy God upon His holy day – a day which begins at “evening” and ends at the next “evening” (Lev. 23:32).
- Our own pleasure or delight in Him? Isaiah 58:13-14 speak about delighting “in the LORD” upon His Holy Sabbath day, not defiling it, and “not finding our own pleasure” upon His holy day, or even speaking our own words (meaning, words which are not aligned with holy Sabbath sanctity). Therefore, the Sabbath is a day to delight in the LORD and to think of Him, not even speaking our own words. So, what about sex? Are we delighting in the Lord or in ecstasy and physical pleasure with our spouse? Some might say that it points us to the LORD who gives such joys with our spouses. However, the point remains that “our own pleasure” does indeed come to us in sex, and we generally would delight in the physical ecstasy of the moment rather than the spiritual joys of contemplating our holy Creator. Would our minds be on God – the Creator, or on personal and spousal pleasure – the creature, rather than the creator who is blessed for ever? [let us not be “lovers of pleasure, rather than lovers of God” – Romans 1:25; 2 Timothy 3:4]. We could even ask if our “words” would be in harmony with Sabbath holiness, or if they would be “our own words” on topics different than the holy themes of contemplation which God desires upon the Sabbath.
From these points, we can begin to form some conclusions about what is right to do in this matter. In this article, it is not my aim to cast “a snare” upon anyone, but rather to consider what God has in mind for ultimate joy through His plan. Based on the evidence, that plan seems to be: sacred and eternal joys in God upon the holy Sabbath, while sensual, common, and temporal joys are for the six common working days each week.
In drawing conclusions, we can ask, “Am I procreating (creating) upon God’s day of rest from creation?” Should I? Is this a holy purpose or a common one? Am I prepared to eat the holy bread of life – the spiritual goodness of Jesus Christ upon the Sabbath by indulging the fleshly desires upon the Sabbath? Am I making myself or my spouse ceremonially “unclean” upon God’s holy day? Am I experiencing my “own pleasure” or delighting in Him on the Sabbath?
Let us think of God’s principles and His intent for the Sabbath. What is that intent anyway? Holy rest, delighting in God, and improving our relationship with the holy God. So, the next time you think about possible physical pleasures upon the Sabbath, why not think about getting into God’s presence instead, being intimate with Him, and delighting in the joys of His presence? It’s a higher, holier, more pure, beautiful, and ennobling experience than any other possible pleasures we might enjoy during the common days of the week.
Let us not be as those who “have violated my [God’s] law, and have profaned mine [His] holy things: they have put no difference between the holy and profane [common], neither have they shewed difference between the unclean and the clean, and have hid their eyes from my sabbaths, and I am profaned among them” (Ezekiel 22:26). Let us consider exercising the highest powers of our beings, delighting in the LORD, and connecting with Him – with His holy presence – to find our greatest joys in spiritual ecstasy with God!
